I Can Win With You, But Can I Lose With You?
In the process you'll find out who your greatest teammates are
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It’s easy to win with someone… it’s easy to win with a “winning” team... it’s easy to win with a mate when they’re “up.”
It’s easy to win when times are good.
But…
Can I lose with you?
Michael Jordan couldn’t get past the semi-finals for years. Eventually, Scottie Pippen (and others) formed a team that would take him to the championship series where they would go to game 7.
Fact… they lost half the games they played to get there.
What happened while they were losing?
They looked at the game footage… they looked at themselves on what they could do better. They looked at how they were showing up for themselves and each other.
They communicated and asked the tough questions like, “what’s going on? do I need to pick up extra for you since you’re down? how can I support you? what can you do better? what do you need?”
Championships, whether sports or the game of life, are won with losses along the way.
In the losses, you build character.
In the losses, you find yourself.
In the losses, you master your skills.
In the losses, you surrender to your higher self.
In the losses, you see who’s really willing to be there with you.
In the losses, you find out what and who you’re willing to fight for.
In the losses, you find empathy and letting go for the ones who aren’t willing to be there with you.
In the losses, you never really lose… you’re always winning.
And who’s there to win with you is who’s willing to play a season or seasons of life with you.
A few months ago, I was asked in a podcast interview… "What profound truths have you learned in business that can also be equated to life and has forever impacted you?"
My response…
Not everyone wants it (the vision) as bad as you
What makes ‘good’ great is consistency, communication and follow through
Winning is fun, but “losing” shows you how others deal with things
Let’s dive a little deeper into each of those.👇🏼
Not Everyone Wants it (the Vision) as Bad As You
This is perfectly natural given that every individual has a unique set of gifts, their own path and may not want the same things as you.
However, there are individuals, unique in gifts and their path, who compliment your vision because it intertwines with theirs.
Know the difference.
In business, and in relationships, knowing what the other wants long term is everything. What’s their goals, vision, needs, wants, character, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities and more?
I’d even go so far to feel into it from a soul level… does this individual feel like they’re a part of where I’m going and where they’re going.
In essence, out of respect to you and another, you want to determine if…
you’re heading in the same direction, building on the same vision and open to all of the variables that come with the responsibility of building that vision, and…
if each other wants it bad enough…
The combination of those two is vital because business and life is not linear nor met without obstacles.
When we run with people who are self-starters, observers, and simply self-aware to their own actions in relation to their lives and how it affects those they team with, championships are born.
Side note - honoring people who either a.) don’t want it as bad as you, or b.) want a different vision for themselves is something to also be respected. Knowing this means not convincing them, but respecting yourself to make moves without them and with grace.👇🏼
What Makes “Good” Great is Consistency, Communication & Follow Through
We can already affirm that accountability, responsibility, reliability, personal growth and development, self-reflection and communication make any relationship thrive.
But…
It’s the consistency of showing up and executing (following through) that bring those good qualities to great.
Now, something I’ve realized is that while these qualities are hopefully initiated in the earlier years of one’s life, most often it takes time to be and build this way.
Why?
Because we have to learn about ourselves in the contrast of life to know who we are and how we want to show up in this world.
What do we value, what do we embody, what’s important to us and do we behave like this?
Our value and character is built from wins and losses.
Our wins and losses remind us who we are and what to embody.
What we embody demonstrates what’s important to us.
What’s important to us shows up in our character.
Our character is built up over time.
Nadeem Al-Hasan, whom I’ve been blessed with as a close friend and co-founder for our upcoming “creator community” (Build 1 Thing), and I have a special flow in the way we work together. (👆🏼LISTEN TO THE AUDIO FOR MORE DETAIL ABOUT THIS)
We share the same vision, along with similar values and integrity, but we also move as individuals to the tune of being better and better every single day. This level of awareness (consciousness) becomes reliable in our combined output and support.
Our efforts multiply…
In other words… when you work alone, you’re moving at the pace of 1.
When you work with an aligned teammate, you work at the pace of 3.
When you move with an aligned teammate who’s constantly “watching the game tape”, improving on their level of play, cognizant of how their other team member is playing, and seeing where we can improve each other’s output… you work at a pace of 10.
The same could be said in choosing a life partner.
They multiply your world because they not only expand your wins, but help you master yourself from the losses.
So, how a person handles their losses is everything.👇🏼
Winning is Fun, But “Losing” Shows You How Others Deal With Things
Losing sucks.
There’s no other way to say it.
It just does.
But it’s a saving grace and where mastery comes from. We CANNOT improve when nothing challenges us to do so.
Therefore, watching how others take “L’s” shows us a lot more about how they’ll deal with things moving forward, as well as deal with us.
Of course, the flip side to observing others, is how we use grace (for them and ourselves), which is also part of how we deal with things.
When I say “grace” it’s because we may witness loved ones or business partners face tough losses and it’s not always easy. Their initial reaction may be “out of character,” so we must have grace.
This is also why knowing another at a much more fundamental, deeper root is necessary.
Balance.
Grace for their hits, grace for their time of reflection and grace for their continuation.
In short, treat them the way you want to be treated. If you both do this, you have a winning combination that’s sustainable.
TL;DR
It’s easy to win with someone, but can you “lose” with them.
Not everyone wants it (the vision) as bad as you.
In business & relationships, knowing what the other wants long term is everything.
What makes ‘good’ great is consistency, communication and follow through.
What we value, embody and is important to us comes out in our behavior.
Winning is fun, but “losing” shows you how others deal with things.
Dealing with “losses” is not always pretty so grace is just as important.
Read this week’s Simplify, Multiply, Diversify below…👇🏼
SIMPLIFY…
When you choose ventures, a mate, a company, a sport, or anything that requires the participation with another, ask yourself, “I know I can win with you, but can I lose with you?”
Translation:
This will eliminate many people, but championships are won only by a few.
MULTIPLY…
Wins get returns. Losses create opportunities for bigger returns.
DIVERSIFY…
When you work alone, you’re moving at the pace of 1.
When you work with an aligned teammate, you work at the pace of 3.
When you move with an aligned teammate who’s constantly “watching the game tape”, improving on their level of play, cognizant of how their other team member is playing, and seeing where we can improve each other’s output… you work at a pace of 10.
You can only go so far as a solo act.
You go much further with someone who’s willing to play the game.
You go the furtherest with someone who’s here to master it.
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I say this because when it comes your content, it falls into the latter category every time.
With the audio, I can now listen and read which adds a whole nother level to the learning.
So happy you added it!
And in regards to this week’s letter, it was jammed packed with great info as always.
I have yet to build something with someone else in business, but feel a lot more ready to do so when the opportunity presents itself.
I know I’m coming from a place where whoever I choose to partner with will have someone who can win and lose with them, so just knowing that for now is a good to be.
Thanks for continuing to share your amazing wisdom when it comes to all things life and business, and congrats on hitting the one year mark in a Substack!
Couldn't ask for a better running mate 🙌