The World Isn't Here to Validate You... It's Here to Receive Your Contributions
Your work is waiting to be discovered.
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Will it be liked? Is this even relevant? What will my friends and family think?
All very natural fears… all completely messing with you, your purpose and your ability to execute your hunches.
I read a quote from author Cara Alwill that said…
”If you don’t hit publish at some point,
your entire potential will remain in drafts.”
And that’s exactly where we’ll stay… in draft mode.
For the longest time, I battled between creation for the sake of purpose and creation for the sake of proving I could do it.
What’s the difference?
Creating from the energy of “proving I can do it” removes the organic nature for why I should be doing it in the first place.
Of course I can do it.
We all can!
But “proving” to the world we can makes it more about validation and less about purpose.
The fact is, we need to create because we’re here to contribute… the world doesn't owe you validation – it's waiting for your contribution.
We’re not here for the approval of the people… We’re here to provide value to them.
If we wait for permission, we'll find ourselves trapped in the permission paradox — missing the opportunity to make the impact only we can make."
The Permission Paradox
Every day, countless creators sit on brilliant ideas, waiting for the perfect moment or the right approval.
We tell ourselves: "I'll start when I'm ready" or "I'll share it when it's perfect." But history teaches us a powerful lesson about this mindset.
Vincent van Gogh, created over 900 paintings despite selling only one during his lifetime - "The Red Vineyard" for a modest sum. Today, his paintings sell for millions.
Emily Dickinson, who wrote nearly 1,800 poems but published only 10 while alive. Her sister discovered her complete works after her death, bound in handmade booklets, waiting to change literature forever.
But this isn't just about historical figures. There’s J.K. Rowling, rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter found a home…
Walt Disney, fired from a newspaper for "lacking imagination."
Even Beethoven's teachers thought he was hopeless at music composition. Yes, Beethoven.
I find it strangely coincidental that the very things these individuals would go on to become known for, are also the things they were the most criticized on.
This is exactly why you shouldn’t wait for approval… you just might be given a reason to quit.
The pattern is clear — permission and validation rarely arrive before creation. Instead, creation must come first.
These creators didn't wait for the world to grant them permission — they granted it to themselves. Their work wasn't validated by their contemporary audience; it was validated by its own existence, its own truth.
This paradox reveals a fundamental truth about creativity…
the permission you're waiting for isn't coming from the outside. It never was. The perfect moment isn't arriving. It's already here.
Your work isn't waiting to be validated – it's waiting to be created.
And from there you’ll potentially face an even greater challenge… escaping the prison of validation-seeking."
REFLECTION…
What creative work are you holding back, waiting for the 'perfect moment' to share? What would happen if you shared it today?
Think of something you were heavily criticized for in the past. Could this criticism be pointing to your unique gift, just as it did for the creators mentioned above?
If you knew for certain your work wouldn't be validated for years (like Van Gogh or Dickinson), would you still create it? Why or why not?
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The Validation Trap: Your Creative Prison
When you create for validation, you build your own creative prison. Each piece of work becomes a desperate question… "Will they like this?" Instead of the more powerful question… "How can this serve?"
This self-imposed prison has walls made of others' expectations and bars forged from your own fears.
Think about your creative process. When you're about to share something, what's the inner dialogue like? If it sounds something like this, you might be trapped in the validation cycle:
"I'll post this when it gets better engagement"
"Maybe I should wait until more people are online"
"What if no one responds?"
"I need more followers before I share my best work"
Here's what makes this trap so insidious — it masquerades as prudence. It feels like you're being smart, strategic, careful. But in reality, you're just finding sophisticated ways to hide.
Consider two creators:
Creator A focuses on validation:
Checks analytics obsessively
Changes their style based on what's trending
Holds back their most authentic ideas
Creates less when engagement drops
Feels paralyzed by criticism
Experiences creative blocks frequently
Creator B focuses on contribution:
Develops ideas based on genuine insights
Shares work that feels important, regardless of trends
Views criticism as data, not judgment
Creates consistently, regardless of external response
Experiences flow states more often
Builds a body of work they're proud of
The difference isn't just philosophical — it manifests in the quality and impact of their work. Creator A's work often feels derivative, safe, and ultimately forgettable. Creator B's work stands out because it comes from a place of authentic contribution.
Think about your last creative project. Were you thinking about likes and shares, or were you thinking about the problem you were solving?
Were you creating from a place of fear or a place of service?
The difference between these mindsets shapes not just your work, but your entire creative journey.
The most painful part? The validation you seek becomes more elusive the harder you chase it. It's like trying to catch your own shadow — the faster you run, the faster it moves away from you.
Meanwhile, those focused on contribution often find validation arrives naturally, as a byproduct of their service.
The way out of this prison isn't to break the walls — it's to realize they were never there in the first place.
Your work's value isn't determined by its reception, but by its intention and execution. When you create to serve rather than to please, you're no longer a prisoner seeking approval. You become a contributor offering value…
and that’s where you’ll find your liberation… not just creatively, but physically too.
REFLECTION…
If engagement metrics didn't exist, how would your creative decisions change?
What piece of work are you most proud of? Was it created for validation or contribution?
If you knew validation would come naturally through service, what bold creative moves would you make today?
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The Biology of Liberation
Creating from a place of contribution rather than validation isn't just philosophically sound – it's biologically superior.
This isn't just feel-good advice; it's hardwired into our nervous system's response to creative work.
The Neuroscience of Validation-Seeking — When you create while seeking validation, your brain activates its threat-response system:
Your amygdala (fear center) becomes hyperactive
Cortisol (stress hormone) floods your system
Your prefrontal cortex (creative center) actually reduces in activity
Your working memory becomes limited
Your perspective narrows to focus on potential threats
This biological stress response manifests as:
Second-guessing every decision
Obsessive editing and re-editing
Creative paralysis
Difficulty making creative leaps
Increased sensitivity to criticism
Physical symptoms like tension headaches or tight shoulders
The Biology of Contribution — In contrast, when you create to contribute, your brain enters an entirely different state:
Your default mode network (associated with flow states) activates
Dopamine is released through anticipation of creating value
Serotonin levels increase through the sense of meaningful work
Oxytocin rises as you connect with your audience through service
Your prefrontal cortex fully engages in problem-solving
This creates what psychologists call an "upward spiral":
Each act of creation reinforces positive neural pathways
Flow states become easier to access
Creative confidence builds naturally
Resilience to criticism increases
Your capacity for original thinking expands
The Flow State Connection — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's research on flow states reveals something fascinating — flow occurs most readily when we're engaged in activities that combine challenge with contribution.
This is why artists, musicians, and writers often report losing track of time when deeply engaged in their craft – but primarily when they're creating for the work's own sake, not for external validation.
Remember — Your best work doesn't emerge from a place of biological stress, but from a place of biological flow.
When you align your creative practice with this fundamental truth, you're not just making better art – you're working in harmony with your own neural wiring… and the “market” will respond.
REFLECTION…
When you create with validation in mind, where do you feel the stress in your body? Now compare that to how your body feels when you're creating purely to contribute.
Recall your most recent creative session. Which biological state were you in - threat-response or flow state? What triggered that state?
What physical signs tell you you're entering a flow state versus getting caught in validation-seeking?
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The Market Responds to Value; Not Validation
The market isn't a validation machine – it's a value detector. It doesn't care about your need for approval. It cares about the problems you solve, the insights you share, the beauty you create. This isn't just motivational speak; it's market reality.
The Value Detection Principle — Consider these market responses to initial ideas:
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication." - Western Union's response to Alexander Graham Bell's invention
"The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty." - President of Michigan Savings Bank to Henry Ford's lawyer
"Guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting The Beatles in 1962
These weren't just wrong predictions – they were validation failures that value ultimately overcame.
The Three Laws of Market Value
Value Precedes Validation
PayPal was mocked for thinking people would send money via email
Amazon lost money for years while building customer value
Netflix was ridiculed for suggesting streaming would replace DVDs
Markets Reward Solutions, Not Seeking
Airbnb solved a real housing problem during conferences
Uber addressed actual transportation inefficiencies
Spotify tackled music accessibility issues
True Innovation Often Faces Initial Rejection
Because it's ahead of market understanding
Because it challenges existing comfort zones
Because it solves problems people haven't yet articulated
The Paradox of Market Value — The greatest market successes often come from creators who:
Ignored initial market feedback
Focused on solving specific problems
Built for value first, scale second
Maintained vision despite skepticism
Think of Elon Musk with electric cars, Steve Jobs with personal computing, or Sara Blakely with Spanx. They didn't wait for market validation – they created market value.
The market will test you. It will question you. It will often initially reject you.
But here's the vital truth… the market always ultimately responds to value. Always. Not immediately. Not obviously. But inevitably.
Your job isn't to seek the market's validation. Your job is to create so much value that the market can't ignore you. When you shift from validation-seeking to value-creation, you move from market participant to market maker.
REFLECTION…
What specific problem does your work solve? How can you make that value so clear that the market can't ignore it?
What's your equivalent of 'sending money by email' (like PayPal) - an idea that seems obvious to you but that others might dismiss?
What problem are you solving that your market might not even recognize as a problem yet? How can you stay committed to that solution despite potential initial rejection?
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Restructure Yourself — From Validation Seeking to Value Creating…
What will you create today… not for validation, but for contribution.
A few final thoughts to leave you with
1— Start your day creating before consuming — your purest form of creative energy and output begin here… uninterrupted by society’s pull on your attention.
2— Replace "Will this be good enough?" with "Who could this help?" — you’ll find this reduces the pressure for what it gets you and replaces it for how many others can receive from this… ps, your abundance will be a byproduct of this.
3— Set contribution metrics instead of validation metrics — how much did you share today/this week instead of how much did you receive today/this week.
4— Ship regularly, learn from feedback, but don't let it paralyze you — you’re looking for consistency, not intensity… consistency is sustainable for very long periods of time. Intensity will burn you out.
Now, go create!
Have a great week!
Matt
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Great post. I love this framing!
This is a great post — I’m validating you! Ha ha! 😊. Seriously though, I’ve been slowly realizing over the last few years that everything I was doing had some element of wanting to be validated or accepted. I was raised on conditional acceptance and learned to look outside of myself to find safety (so I wouldn’t get scolded). It really takes a toll living for validation…I’ve been in the process of rewiring all that! Your post helps reinforce a new mindset. Thank you!